It's time to issue my good-bye to the blogging world, although there wasn't really anything eventful from it (except from learning about how people are).

I see no need to update anymore, I am meant to keep things to myself, also no one really cared when I wrote anything so screw it. I don't have anyone to

talk to in real life about my, "Feelings" and "Emotions", so why would I wanna make it public, especially when common sense isn't so common; even writing

this, I haven't even told this to anyone (Well, aside from God) any of this. I've come to a point where I feel I've lost my humanity, or better yet humanity lost

me... Good riddance I say, I don't need anyone and no one needs me all I need is God, and God hasn't let me down; not only has God created me but had

my back and still does.

     Therefore I shall fall silently into my existance, since any time someone wants me to, "Express" myself, they can't handle it and betch about my

way of thinking/feeling. I'm done with the fake people online, I'm done with their BS and I'm done expressing myself online.

     With each and every passing day I realize that people are the same, not like me

but in regards to how history repeats itself. The Qur'an even shown me that...

There's other sin or the sinner... Can there be sin when there are no sinners?

Even then so, what would it matter considering I cannot change the world which is

a shame but at the same time Thank God.

     When the prophet (Peace and blessings be upon him) said and for some reason

even though I only heard it, it made me feel like I was there and it went something

like, "Now that the war has ended, the real war shall begin" (I.E: Maintain faith

during times of peace). I know how that is, especially in a non-Muslim country

I have to maintain my faith when others are have less or even none. It's funny

how they try and talk to me, as if they want to convince me, but all I see are

puppets of shaytaan. I know what I'm doing for the most part, it's like I gotta

be like this ninja. I cannot be like the Suhabbah, cuz for me it's like I'm always

fighting something.

     Other I'm too fast paced and clumsy, or others are freaking slow and not on

my level. Like people don't... Think, and if they do it's about something

WORTHLESS. I used to be like that, "Think Think Think" but it didn't do me

any good except give me perm grey hairs. Besides, all that time to trip and wig

out on chet, you're wasting time. To waste time on negative energy is stupid.

     On top of that, it's like people like to just open their mouths and spew out

crap. Not literally but sometimes I wonder... It's like they'll open their mouths

and say they'll do it but next minute or day you find they are doing other wise

or they're not doing anything. It's like now a'days when anyone says something

I can't help but to think, "Yea right nigga" cuz that's usually how it is.

I will show my claws when attacked or threatened. But sometimes people will

say stuff that other doesn't matter and they KEEP talking about it, or they say

something nice and I don't know what to say. I dunno, I suppose that's just

how it's finna be.

For the most part I usually conceal my emotions, why get close to folks

anyways?  Everyone is for themselves on the Day of Judgement anyways, it's not

like anyone understands (and I mean that with no "emo") anyways but it's all good.

     Howdy there, yup just swinging by to write a lil somethin' somethin'.

School has been a'ight, I need to learn how to wake up/get there early but it seems

like there's SOME kinda a7wal goin' on.

    I'm doing a'ight, strivin' strainin, but also maintain'. I still got something

bugging me, supposedly I am taking it better than usual but then again I don't

really open up to anyone therefore that doesn't mean much but meh. Just a lesson

for me, no one is really there for me except Allah and that people are... People.

     Hahaha!

     "People like to go around and spread BS, truly it's something I've grown to

detest.

 They like to lie and tell you that they care why they look into your eyes, for a

second it was like being mezmorized, but I should have known from the start how

women excell at telling vicious lies.

     Nah I ain't trippin', not a drop of a tear I ain't trippin' cuz I endured without fear,

people finna tell you just what you wanna hear! Screw dat, I can't take that chet

for real, I'm finna tell it like it is and say what I feel.

     Too long I wasn't strong, but now I have the courage to carry on. It was useless

it was distance, it was obviously an endeavor a chore I feel like a whore.

     But that's ok, that's how it is, life just simply is like a one way trip, just be

careful not to trip or stay at the Dunya inn.

     It was said that I am dead, but I happily embrace it like I embrace my bed. What

legacy was their left to be said, a half breed Filipino with European and Native

American fighting the trends?

The things that are really dead are your hearts and your mindsets.

 Best believe fo reezy, I am not trying to tell you no sheezy, I don't

care say this chet seems cheesy, I fight back with vengence fo sheezy, only way to

tell it is fo reezy.

     Silence you, cover your mouth and let these verbal expressions go within and

without.

     This is the world to me, c'est la vie, este es una vida que es loco para mi.

I like me, I mean who can speak; French, Spanish, A lil 3rabee and Ingleezy?

I'm sure there are folks out there, but they are nowhere within my vicinity nor

near my air.

     This world is a screwy one can you see it and feel it? I'd like another way to

repair and heal it. Not for the worldly things but for kids to have a chance

to grasp at Deen yaddidaimean?

     Dark energies tryna come forth and make this dunya even worst, dudes are

going around carrying a purse!  Dang, that's wrong what's even worst is I could go

on and on, but negativety isn't part of this... Song?

     Where was I goin' with this, what was I doin' with this I dunno but I felt like

writing instead of sharpening my fist, I don't even wanna hiss cuz now Thankfully

I can just enjoy my bliss.

    No need to get mad, no need to get pissed, even though sometimes I'd rather

talk with my fists, but even say I got my wish I'd add hate to the dish so I'd rather

be rappin' or rhymin' with a twist; even say YOU wonder where was I going with

this.

     For now I strive, and try to turn the tide, beezies are beezies and guys are guys.

I know one day the table will slide, and Islam will be the one to properly thrive.

     I'll endure my life like a ninjarai, fighting the demons even though they don't

seem to die, but I'll still try!

    So now I'll say my good-bye, to the hatred to your lies, and even to your eyes.

I'd really like to ask why, but Allah sends me tests and I hope I'll make Allah

happy whilst I fight and survive."

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I wrote all that up there yes.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Before I go on,  I liked this song cuz... I dunno, seems like it applies to me lately.

Limp Bizkit: Boiler    

"Waaaaaaaaaaaa...(1-2)
Oooooohhhh.
Looks like I'm'a do everything myself,
Maybe I could use some help,
But hell, if you want somethin' done right
You got to do it yourself.
Maybe life is up and down, (up)
My life's been what to now?
I crawled up your butt from hell.
And that's when things got turned around.
You used be alive, now you feel pathetic.
But now I get it,
What's done is done,
Just leave it alone, and don't regret.
Sometimes- somethings- turn in-to dumb things.
And that's when you put your foot down.

[chorus start]
Why did I have to go and meet somebody like you?
Why do you have to go and hurt somebody like me?
How could you do somebody like that,
You know that I'm never coming back.
[chorus end]

Looks like Imma going to do everything myself. (everything myself)
Maybe I could use some help,
But hell, if you want somethin' done right
You just do it yourself. (got it?)
Maybe life is up and down.
But my life's been what to now? (got it?)
I crawled up your butt from hell. (got it?)
And that's when shit got turn around. (got it?)
You used be alive, now you're so pathetic.
But now I get it,
What's done is done,
I know, you just LEAVE IT ALONE, and don't regret.
Sometimes- Somethings- turn into dumb things.
And that's when you put your foot down. (your foot down)

[chorus start]
Why did I have to go and meet somebody like you?
Why do you have to go and hurt somebody like me?
How could you do somebody like that,
You know that I'm never coming back.
Why did I have to go and meet somebody like you?
Why do you have to go and hurt somebody like me?
How could you do somebody like that,
You know that I'm never coming back.
[chorus end]

Depending on you is done. (is done)
Giving to you is done.
No more reasons, no sleeping, no living,
It's all just what giving to you and I'm done. (and I'm done)
Depending on you is done. (is done)
Giving to you is done. (is done)
No more reasons, no sleeping, no living,
It's all just what giving to you and I'm done. (and I'm done)
But hiding from you IS DONE. (is done)
But lying from you is done.
No more reasons, no sleeping, no living,
It's all just what giving to you and I'm done. (and I'm done)

[chorus start]
Why did I have to go and meet somebody like you?
Why do you have to go and hurt somebody like me?
How could you do somebody like that,
You know that I'm never coming back.
Why did I have to go and meet somebody like you?
Why do you have to go and hurt somebody like me?
How could you do somebody like that,
You know that I'm never coming back.
[chorus end]

But why?
WHY?
(you've been some (???))
WHY?
WHY?
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?

Why?
why? "